Crazy Inuyasha Interviews
by InSaNeShippo105
Summary: Um, mainly an interview talk show kinda fic. R&R plz! I finally updated! ;D
1. Chapter 1: Shippo AKA Wiener Boy

A/N: Hello! I've been so bored since 'Crazy Inuyasha Truth or Dare' is finished I felt like writing this. But, I start school tomorrow so maybe this isn't a good idea. Oh well . . . Anyway this is going to be an Inuyasha interview/talk show type of deal. Not really original, but I can only stay focused on the crazy funny stuff, so here you have 'Crazy Inuyasha Interviews'. Nice title huh? OK, so it sucks. *cries* Leave me alone!  
  
Disclaimer: One day I will rule the world, and when I do I shall have Miroku! MUAHAHAHA! *cough* Until then, I do not own any one from Inuyasha *is poked in the back by a lawyer* especially Miroku. Meanies!!  
  
***** ***** ***** *****  
  
Chapter 1  
  
The camera closes in on the set. There are two chairs and a couch placed on the middle of the stage. And behind them a huge sign with bright flashy letters says "Shippo Rules". Suddenly music to the Barbie Song starts to play and the two hosts, well one of the two hosts comes out. She's a teenage girl, around 14, with black hair and brown eyes. She sits down in the first chair and smiles at the camera, then waves to the audience.  
  
"Hello! I'm Jess, as you may remember me from my friend Katie's other story." She looks around apparently waiting on something. Her voice gets loud as she talks, the whole time looking back stage. "NOW, IF ONLY KATIE WOULD LIKE TO COME OUT SO WE CAN BEGIN THE SHOW!"  
  
Another girl teenage girl comes out at this point. She's slightly taller than her friend is and she has brown hair and blue eyes. Her arms are filled with bags as she makes her way to her chair. "Sorry Jess," she whispers to her friend. "I was getting something."  
  
"Like what?!" Jess shouts.  
  
"Like candy for Shippo!" Katie grins as she dumps out loads of candy from the bags she brought.  
  
"OK, but you're supposed to be looking at the camera!!!" Jess says waving her hand in the direction of the camera that has momentarily been watching the audience.  
  
"Dude! What are you doing?!" Katie shouts to the cameraman.  
  
"Oh right, sorry girls," Dude says while turning the camera back onto the hosts. He has a purple Mohawk and he's dressed up as if he were in Good Charlotte or something. (A/N: I love GC by the way. =P)  
  
o.O;; "His name is dude?!" Jess asks.  
  
"Yes, he is our temporary cameraman. If anyone out there would like to be our camera-person just say so in your review and tell us about yourself! Whoever wants the job first can have it!"  
  
"Eh, now for the point of this show . . ." Jess sits up straight and looks at the camera.  
  
"We introduce to you-" Katie continues.  
  
"Shippo!"  
  
The small kitsune walks onto the set then hops up onto the couch. He smiles at the audience shyly and waves.  
  
"Hi there, Shippo!" Katie exclaims. "Like the decoration?" She points to the sign behind them.  
  
"WOW, I rule?" Shippo asks. "I knew that of course!"  
  
"Aww, now it's time to ask Shippo some questions," Jess says pulling out some note cards. "First question," she squints having trouble reading the hand print on the card. "Katie, what does this say?!"  
  
"Umm, let me see," she takes the card from her friend and reads it. "First question, why do you wear that big bow that makes you look like a girl?"  
  
*Sweat drop* "You made that question didn't you?"  
  
"Yeah so? Shippo answer please."  
  
"Why do I wear this bow? Well, my mother gave it to me, so I wear it all the time," Shippo answers.  
  
"Why would she give you a bow when you're a boy?" Katie asks.  
  
"I don't know, I think she wanted a daughter." Shippo shrugs.  
  
"Next question, what's it like traveling with Inuyasha and Kagome?" Jess says.  
  
"That wasn't on the cards!"  
  
"So, you made something up."  
  
"Well, it's a lot of fun, except for when Inuyasha calls me names and hits me on the head when I tease him. He's really sensitive about the fact that he likes Kagome. He won't admit it, but I know he does. One time I saw him smelling her clothes while she was bathing. I think the guy's obsessed." Shippo grins. "Really obsessed."  
  
"I can't believe Inuyasha would do that!" Jess laughs.  
  
"Puppy and Kagome sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Katie chants, laughing too.  
  
"Oh that reminds me!" Shippo stands up on top of the couch. "I learned a new song off of Kagome's television thing!"  
  
"Would you like to sing it for us Shippo-chan?" Jess asks smiling at the little boy.  
  
"Sure!" He clears his throat and grins at the camera and audience. "Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener, that is what I'd truly like to be-e-e, 'cause if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener, everyone would be in love with me-e- e!" He goes on repeating it a few more times.  
  
"That's very nice Shippo, you can STOP now," Jess says making the fox sit down. "Katie, what's the next question?"  
  
"Why the hell did you sing that song?" Katie asks.  
  
"That's not a question!"  
  
"It ended in a question mark didn't it? HA like that one!"  
  
"I LIKE THAT SONG!!" Shippo shouts shutting them both up. "Quit making fun of me!"  
  
"We're not making fun of you Shippo," Jess says.  
  
"Wiener boy!" Katie teases him.  
  
"Am not!"  
  
"Are too! You like wieners! You little perve!" Katie shouts at him.  
  
"I AM NOT A PERVE!" Shippo screams starting to cry.  
  
"Katie, leave him alone!"  
  
"Fine, sorry Shippo, have some candy!"  
  
"Candy?! Yay!" He starts eating all the candy that had been dumped onto the floor. "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"  
  
"You made him hyper!" Jess yells over the noise while plugging her ears.  
  
Shippo proceeds to start dancing around the whole stage chanting 'Candy' and saying 'Wee'. o.o' "Scary little fox," Katie says.  
  
They both try to calm down the fox but their attempts are unsuccessful. "This calls for extreme measures!" Jess declares. She marches back stage and drags out another girl. "Everyone welcome Kagome!" Kagome waves to the audience.  
  
The audience claps as Kagome grabs Shippo by the back of his clothes and drags him off stage. "Sorry everyone! Shippo has to go. Bye!" She then disappears with the kitsune back stage.  
  
"I guess that's it for now," Jess says standing up from her chair.  
  
"But you still have more time left on the film," Dude says from behind the camera.  
  
"Save it for next time," Jess responds.  
  
"Who's next?!" Katie asks standing up as well.  
  
"Inuyasha."  
  
"YAY! I gotta go work on the next lights for Puppy! See ya!" Katie runs off stage.  
  
"Hey wait for me!" Jess shouts running after her.  
  
The camera is now facing Dude who is smiling into it. "Well, that's it! See you next time! Bye!" He cuts off the camera and the screen goes black.  
  
***** ***** ***** *****  
  
A/N: One word: SHORT! This is just the beginning though; there are a lot more characters, so it'll get better. Oh yeah, if you have any questions for Inuyasha put them in your review, and if you want I can make you part of the audience!!! If you don't review, Inuyasha won't be interviewed and he will be very angry with me. ^.^ OK, anyway, that's it for Shippo. Hope you liked it. Ja!!! 


	2. Chapter 2: Inuyasha AKA Puppy

A/N: So you realize I'm not going to be able to update quickly right? 'Cause guess what? School sucks monkeys! If you already knew that, then you feel my pain like Steph does. Oh my gosh, Steph!!! I can have Vash? Seriously? Sweet! But, I'm back into my Miroku obsession, grrr. No, I'm not going to have all my characters from my other story in here. Sowwiez! *sniffs* They were all so cool though. But I hope to find away to put you in, Steph 'cause you rock! Oh yeah, thank you so very much for all the reviews all my wonderful readers, I love you so much! *cough* Now that that's out of the way. Swimchick852, I (or we 'cause I talked to Jess about it) can't think of any jobs yet, but if you have any suggestions then please tell me/us. OK, that's confusing. Anyway, this is Chapter 2!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I don't even own a camera. I suck don't I? Oh well, life goes on. I am going to rule the world though; just you wait and see! I'm not crazy!!!  
  
***** ***** ***** *****  
  
Chapter 2  
  
The camera closes on the same set as before. This time the sign behind the chairs and couch says "Puppy r0x0rs!!!" in bigger bright red flashier letters than Shippo's was. Now the introduction music is playing, but this time it's "Why Don't You & I" by Santana featuring Alex Band. (A/N: I love that song!) There is a long silent pause until one of the hosts makes her way on stage carrying a rather big box with air holes poked in it.  
  
"Hi there!" she exclaims. "Yes, this time I'm first out. Hahaha Jess!"  
  
She stands and waits for Jess to join her. She taps her foot impatiently and looks at her watch. "Jess, where are you?!"  
  
Finally the other host (A/N: a thought just crossed my mind, should that be hostess?) comes onto the stage. This time she is carrying something too.  
  
"Sorry, *pant* there was bad traffic on the way to the store," she says sitting her bag on the floor by her chair and then waving at the camera. "What do you have in that box?"  
  
"You'll see," Katie grins widely, then remembers something. "Oh yeah, our new camera person!"  
  
"Well, who is it? Have you made up your mind yet?"  
  
Katie's grin somehow grows wider. "Yes, I'm sorry Mesa, but I picked Cole."  
  
Jess shakes her head. "But the girl asked first."  
  
"The dude said I rocked!!!"  
  
"So, that's not fair." Jess crosses her arms. "Are you conceited now?"  
  
"No! I just think that he's really cool 'cause I'm his favorite."  
  
"Psh, oh well, it's your choice. Mesa, I apologize for my friend. So gomen ne!"  
  
Katie shrugs and then clears her throat. "Now, I would like to introduce to you Cole the camera guy!"  
  
Evanescence plays for his intro music as Cole 'the camera guy' walks out. He is medium height with brown hair. (A/N: yeah, I used it straight out of his review, so what?!)  
  
"Hi!" he says smiling brightly, while joining the two girls on stage.  
  
"Welcome Cole!" Jess says.  
  
"Thanks a lot!!!" he replies.  
  
Katie just grins in a zoned out kinda way.  
  
"Katie?" Jess says. "Katie?! KATIE!!! Wake up!" She pinches her friend on the arm, which snaps her back to reality.  
  
"Huh? What?" Katie asks.  
  
"OK, that's better. Tell us something about yourself Cole," Jess says.  
  
"Um, I love Evanescence and um, aren't you supposed to be interviewing Inuyasha and not me?"  
  
"Oh, yeah, right," Jess says. "Take your place at the camera and we'll begin."  
  
Cole nods and goes over to the camera, which he somehow knows how to work, don't ask me how, maybe he already knew? (A/N: That was whack! ?_? Anyway, sorry for the disruption.)  
  
Jess and Katie take their seats. "Now, introducing, INUYASHA!" Jess says.  
  
"Also known as PUPPY!"  
  
A loud 'feh' is heard before the hanyou, that we all love so much, makes his way over to the couch and sits down. He leans back without bothering to look at the camera or the audience.  
  
"Hello there, Inuyasha," Jess greets him warmly.  
  
"Oi," he says sarcastically.  
  
"Puppy, I have a question." Katie has somehow managed to sit on the couch next to Inuyasha.  
  
"What?" he asks moving away because she's almost nose to nose with him.  
  
"Could I touch your ears and your hair?"  
  
Inuyasha falls over. "No you can't touch my ears! Or my hair! If you even try it I'll kill you!"  
  
"NO!" Cole shouts from the camera. "Don't kill her!"  
  
Inuyasha looks over at Cole. "Where the hell did you come from?"  
  
"SIT!" Jess says.  
  
Inuyasha magically falls through the floor of the stage. When he makes his was back up he stares at Jess blankly. "How-how do you do that?! You're not Kagome!"  
  
Jess grins evilly. "You will never know."  
  
"Jess, we have to ask him his questions, remember?" Katie says nudging her friend with her elbow. (She's back in her chair.)  
  
"OK, the first question was from Mesa." Jess pulls out a card and reads it. "Puppy, how do you feel about Inuyasha and Sango pairings in fanfics?"  
  
Inuyasha's eyes grow wide. (Kinda like this O.O') "Me and Sango?"  
  
"Yes, how do you feel about that. And you better answer correctly or you will get the 's' word."  
  
"Um," a big sweat drop forms on his head, "I uh, don't really um, I would like it better if it was, uh never mind."  
  
"Aw, that's so cute!" Jess says.  
  
Katie yawns. "Next question, from 'not telling u' *cough*Jess*cough* . . ."  
  
"I heard that!"  
  
"Anywayz, the next question is: why do you like Kikyo's *cough*deadcorpseuglydisgustingsmellywoman*cough* smell? EWWWIE!"  
  
"Who said I like her smell?" Inuyasha asks.  
  
"You did," Jess states.  
  
"Well I used to, but that was before- Feh, never mind," Inuyasha says.  
  
"The next question, also from 'not telling u', is why don't you admit you like Kagome even though actions speak louder than words?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"WHY WON'T YOU ADMIT YOU LIKE KAGOME?!?!" Katie shouts.  
  
"You don't have to hurt my ears!" Inuyasha yells back at her.  
  
"THEN ANSWER THE BLEEPIN' QUESTION!"  
  
"FINE!!! I won't admit I like Kagome because she probably doesn't like me!"  
  
"That's a load of crap," Jess says. "All she thinks about is you."  
  
o.o' "Really?"  
  
"No duh, dipstick," Katie says. (A/N: Sorry, I'm tired and I feel like being mean lol)  
  
"Katie, calm down. Ask him the other question from 'not telling u'."  
  
"Fine, fine," Katie yawns again. (A/N: Oh my gosh, I actually yawned when I typed that!) "Puppy, do you like chickens?"  
  
"To eat chickens?"  
  
"NO!!!"  
  
"No, then I don't like chickens."  
  
"Aw, that's too bad then." Katie kicks the box she had brought and the side of it comes open. Five chickens flutter out and start running after Inuyasha, who had gotten up to run away.  
  
^_^ "You got more chickens!" Jess says happily.  
  
"Yeah, you paid for 'em," Katie mutters.  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"Nothing!"  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Cole screams running over to the girls from behind the camera. "HELP MEEEEEEEEE!!!"  
  
"Wha?" they both say looking behind him to see Inuyasha chasing after him with the chickens running after him.  
  
"Um, bad Puppy, bad!" Jess says grabbing her bag she brought and pulling out a dog biscuit.  
  
Inuyasha stops and stares at the biscuit in her hand. He whines as if he were an actual dog and sits down.  
  
"AWWWW!!!" Jess exclaims.  
  
o.O;;; "Puppy?!" Katie rushes over to Inuyasha and feels his forehead. "Are you sick?!"  
  
Jess gives him the treat and he runs off barking.  
  
Cole has perched himself up at the top of the audience.  
  
"Cole?!" Katie calls. "What are you doing? Come take care of the camera!"  
  
"Coming!" Cole shouts making his way down through the audience.  
  
^o^ "He took the treat, AWWWWWW!" Jess gushes.  
  
"Yeah, whatever."  
  
"Um, we have a problem," Cole says from behind the camera.  
  
"What is it?" Jess and Katie ask at the same time.  
  
"Well other than the fact that there's a psychotic evil pringle on the loose . . ."  
  
"A what?" Jess asks.  
  
"AN EVIL PRINGLE?! WHERE?!" Katie screams jumping up onto the couch. "HELLLP!"  
  
"There is no such thing as a psychotic evil pringle!"  
  
"Sure there is," Cole states. "Look out it's behind you!"  
  
Jess squeals and jumps up onto the chair. "DARN YOU!"  
  
"MUAHAHAHA! Anyway-" Just as he goes to speak the power goes out.  
  
"What happened?" Jess asks.  
  
"The power went out!" Cole shouts from the direction of the camera.  
  
"Why?!"  
  
"I think it was that really big sign, it used a lot of electricity."  
  
"Then how-"  
  
"I PUT BATTERIES IN IT!" Cole shouts again.  
  
"You can do that?" Jess asks.  
  
"Yeah, well I think that's where the batteries go . . ."  
  
"Katie? Are you here?" Jess asks.  
  
*sniff* "I'm scared of the dark and the evil pringle's gonna get me!" she cries from the couch. (A/N: No, I'm not really scared of the dark, I love the dark. =P)  
  
"Not to fear! I am here!" Cole flicks on a flashlight and points it in the direction of the girls. (A/N: That was a mad corny line, sorry Cole.) Jess is standing up on top of her chair and Katie sitting on the couch with her knees curled up to her chin.  
  
"EVIL PRINGLES!!!" Katie screams shading her eyes with her hands.  
  
"There are no evil pringles," Cole says. "I made them up."  
  
Katie gasps. "Don't doubt the power of the pringles!"  
  
"Whatever," Cole says. "Your film time is almost up."  
  
"OK, OK, INUYASHA GET YOUR BUTT OUT HERE!" Jess shouts.  
  
Inuyasha comes back out, this time he's normal. "What?"  
  
"Say bye," Jess says.  
  
"Ja," he growls.  
  
"Can I touch your ears now?" Katie asks, following him backstage.  
  
"No!" Inuyasha yells starting to run away from her.  
  
"Mmmkay, well that's all for now! Ja ne! Bye! See ya next time!" Jess says walking off stage too. (A/N: I just realized, the power is out, but you know Cole has the flashlight pointed on them right?)  
  
Cole steps in front of the camera with the flashlight under his face, making him look really spooky. "BOO!" he says before cutting the camera off.  
  
***** ***** ***** *****  
  
A/N: Was that a little weird to you? I think it was weird, but that's just me. Oh yeah, sorry if you're OOC Cole. And um sorry to Mesa again, gomen, gomen, gomen! And uh, next is ummm, *thinks really hard* I think I'll do Kagome next! If you have questions for her ask 'em in your review . . . Please review? Pretty please? I asked nicely, and if you don't review then you're really mean. Expect an update next weekend. LOL Ja ne! Adios! Hasta luego! Bye!!!!!!!!  
  
Oh yeah, EVIL PRINGLES!!! ~.^ 


	3. Chapter 3: Kagome and other boring stuff

A/N: *Takes really deep breath* Hola! Guess what? I have blue streaks in my hair! Woohoo! Well, so what if it'll wash out when I take a shower, and it barely shows. Anyway, sorry Bowsergal *looks around innocently* I thought about that after I posted the chapter but I couldn't fix it so oh well, silly me. And I will let you share, and I do hope Cole doesn't mind. I will also try to use that for your character Cole, it might not happen in this chapter, but I will try. Oh yeah, thankies for saying I rule all and stuff. Teehee, you r0x0rs!!!! And you're very welcome! Heh, anyway, I'm so bored and it's still the weekend, so I'm going to write another chapter. Just cause I'm really nice. *Does cheesy stupid grin* I suddenly feel tired *yawns* but I'm still gonna write this! ^^  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. But I still have my plans to rule the world. Yup, and Jess is gonna be my co-ruler and we will have a chicken army and we will have Frosted Flakes minions!!! MUAHAHAHA!!! (I think I've had too many Pixy Stix today.)  
  
***** ***** ***** *****  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Once again, the camera, with Cole standing behind it, closes in on the usual set except there is a small sign that says "Kagome" in dim letters. Also the floor is boarded up where Inuyasha had been sat in the last episode. Today, both of the hostesses come out at the same time.  
  
"Hello!" Jess says smiling at the camera weakly. Katie simply waves taking her seat.  
  
"What's wrong you guys?" Cole asks from the camera.  
  
"Kagome," Katie mumbles. "BORRRING!!!"  
  
"Well, next time you guys have Kikyo to interview," Cole says.  
  
Jess groans and Katie gets a gleeful look in her eye. "Oh joy! Oh joy!" she declares suddenly regaining her happiness.  
  
"Joy? You're looking forward to that smelly woman?!" Jess asks.  
  
"Yes," Katie grins widely. "Hehe . . ."  
  
"OOOOOK! Anyway we will have-"  
  
"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!" Bowsergal exclaims running onto the set, then starts jumping up and down.  
  
"What's she doing here?" Cole asks.  
  
"You two will have to share the camera," Jess says.  
  
"What?!?!"  
  
"Sorry Cole, but it's only fair," Jess replies.  
  
"Riiiight," Cole says sarcastically as Bowsergal runs over to the camera and pushes him out of the way.  
  
"Now, welcome Kagome!" Katie says.  
  
Kagome walks out waving at the small audience. "Hi guys! Thanks for having me on your show!"  
  
"You're welcome!" Jess says ushering her to the couch.  
  
Katie pauses and stares at the audience with a sour expression. "Cole, could you do something for me?"  
  
"Um, sure. What is it?"  
  
"Come here."  
  
"OK." Cole goes over to her and she whispers something in his ear. He nods and heads off some place backstage.  
  
"What was that about?" Jess asks.  
  
"Nothing," Katie says. "Ask Kagome the questions already."  
  
"Oh right," Jess looks at her cards. "Um, Katie, we didn't prepare questions for Kagome."  
  
"What?! Maaaaan."  
  
"Hmm, Kagome what do you think about Sesshomaru?" Jess asks out of no where.  
  
Kagome scratches her head thinking. "Welllll, he's okay I guess, except for the part that he hates humans and he's out to kill Inuyasha."  
  
"But he's so cute, don't you think?" Jess continues.  
  
"Well, I guess he is. He does have pretty hair." ^^;  
  
"I knooooow!!!" Jess goes into a long conversation about Sesshomaru with Kagome.  
  
"Ummm," Katie looks over at Bowsergal. "You're taping all of this boring stuff?"  
  
"Yeah! That's what mesa supposed to do right?"  
  
"Yeah," Katie yawns sitting back in her chair. Ten minutes later Cole makes his way back onstage carrying a medium sized box, which he gives to Katie. "YAY!! Thank you so much!"  
  
"You're welcome!"  
  
A girl with dirty blonde hair pops up beside him out of nowhere. "Helllo!!!" she says.  
  
o.o' "Kelsey? What are you doing here?" Cole asks, jumping at first.  
  
"I was . . . INVITED!!! You're not the only one that can have fun, you know."  
  
"Who invited you?"  
  
"Jess." She points to Jess, who is still talking about her wonderful Sesshie to Kagome. (A/N: lol Jess, you know you would do that!!! J/K)  
  
"OOOOH."  
  
Meanwhile, Katie has started handing out whatever was in the box to the audience members. They look kind of like candy bars.  
  
"What's she giving to them?" Bowsergal asks zooming in on Katie; she had been recording the long Sesshomaru conversation.  
  
"I have no clue," Cole says. "She just told me to get them from backstage."  
  
Katie finishes whatever she was doing and sits back down in her chair. "Jess, enough of Sesshomaru, you can talk about him when he's on here."  
  
"Grrr, fine."  
  
"Anyone have questions for Kagome?" Katie looks over to Cole, Kelsey, and Bowsergal.  
  
"I have one!" Cole and Bowsergal say at the same time walking onto the set.  
  
"Don't copy me!" they both shout at each other.  
  
"Someone please ask her a question!"  
  
"Ahem, I would like to know what you think about Kagome and Miroku pairings in fanfics," Bowsergal says.  
  
"Miroku and me????" Kagome asks wide-eyed like Inuyasha had been about him and Sango.  
  
"Gosh, she likes those questions," Jess says.  
  
"Miro-san and Kagome? No way!!!"  
  
"Miroku is a lot nicer than Inuyasha, so I guess that would be okay. I mean, it's not like it's real or anything. Miroku's not that bad, except for the fact that he's such a hentai."  
  
Katie stares at her blankly. "That's it, she's dead!!!" She lunges toward Kagome.  
  
Jess grabs her best friend and holds her back as she starts kicking and screaming.  
  
o.o' "Is she okay?" Cole asks.  
  
"She's just a crazy Mirokuluverhead, no need to worry."  
  
"Mesa likes Miroku too," Bowsergal says.  
  
"DIE!!!" Katie screams, and at those words all the people in the audience fall over dead.  
  
o.O;;; "What the-" Kagome starts to say.  
  
"Oopsies, I forgot about that . . ." Katie laughs innocently.  
  
"What happened to our audience?!"  
  
"Well you see I gave them those candy bars that like kill you if the person that gives them to you says die . . ."  
  
"There's no such thing as candy bars that do that!" Jess says.  
  
"Yeah, well there is now!!! I bought them from the psychotic evil pringles for a dollar."  
  
"You mean there are actually psychotic evil pringles?" Jess, Cole, and however else chimes in together. (A/N: Can you see my laziness?)  
  
"Duh," Katie says.  
  
"Wait a sec, who's working the camera?" Cole asks.  
  
"I am!!!" Kelsey says from behind the camera. She magically knows how to work it like the other two. o.O;;  
  
"Kelsey!!! It was my turn!!!"  
  
"Well you're asking Kagome a question!!"  
  
"So!! It's still my turn!!!"  
  
"You can't do both at the same time!"  
  
"Still you didn't ask!!!"  
  
"Do I have to?!"  
  
"YES!!!!"  
  
The two start arguing while Bowsergal takes over the camera and focuses on the dead audience.  
  
Ten minutes later Kelsey and Cole stop arguing and sit down, out of breath, in chairs that have magically appeared beside the camera.  
  
"Um, is it time for me to go yet?" Kagome asks.  
  
"NO!! I have to ask my question!!!" Cole shouts running back on the set.  
  
"OK, then," Kagome says. "You don't have to yell."  
  
"Bowsergal!!!! You have to record them over there!" Kelsey says pointing at Kagome and etc.  
  
"Okiez!!!" she turns the camera on everyone on the set as Cole begins to ask his question.  
  
"Is it true that you and Inuyasha were kissing in the Teachers' Lounge last Saturday at Katie's school?" Cole asks in one breath.  
  
O.O; "At MY school?" Katie asks.  
  
O.O; "At HER school? Jess asks.  
  
Kagome looked around nervously, whilst blushing brightly. "Of course not."  
  
"HAHA!! IT'S TRUE!!!"  
  
"It is not!!!"  
  
"Yes it is!!"  
  
"Fine, okay! I was!" Kagome admits.  
  
Cole starts laughing hysterically.  
  
"Wait . . . how would they be at her school on a Saturday?" Kelsey asks from her seat by the camera. "That makes no sense at all, Cole."  
  
"Yeah, and how would they be in the Teachers' Lounge? Wouldn't the doors be locked?" Jess adds.  
  
"But she just admitted she did!!!"  
  
"Actually last Saturday I went to the movies with Hojo, I had to repay him for the last time I stood him up," Kagome states.  
  
"Ugh, spoil my fun!" Cole marches back over to the camera where he switches places with Bowsergal.  
  
"Anyway, what are we supposed to do with all these dead people?" Jess asks. "Aren't we gonna get in trouble?!"  
  
"It won't matter when I take over the world," Katie says. "Plus, we need them for bait."  
  
"Bait?" Jess asks.  
  
"Yes, you will see next chappy!!!" Katie stands up. "I have to go make an ugly sign for Kikyo, see ya!"  
  
"Um, I guess that's all then," Jess says.  
  
"Good, your time's almost up," Kelsey says matter-of-factly.  
  
"That's nice, bye!" Jess leaves.  
  
"Uh, ja ne!" Kagome says going after Jess.  
  
Cole stalks off with Kelsey following behind him, and Bowsergal's face pops up in front of the camera. "BYEEEEEE!!!!"  
  
***** ***** ***** *****  
  
A/N: OK, so that wasn't so good. But I was bored!!! *sniffs* I needed something to occupy my time with. Anyway I will update next weekend, and the Kikyo chapter will be WAY better because I hate her so much and I can put Ghoul King in!!! WOOOHOOO!!! Adios!! 


	4. Chapter 4: Kikyo AKA Smelly Dead Woman

A/N: The weekend is almost over. And, sadly, I am updating late. *cries* Some very sad personal things have happened to me, and well Jess too. But on a happier note, I am going to update and Jess has mainly given me all my ideas for this chapter 'cause of the wonderful friend she is. ^^ Oh yeah, and Cami I am very sorry, but I already have two camera people. @_@  
  
Disclaimer: My hopes of ruling the world are still intact. I even saw this really cool Marvin Martian shirt that said "You off my planet!" I would have gotten it but it was really big and it was made ugly. Oh well, for now I don't own anything.  
  
***** ***** ***** *****  
  
Chapter 4  
  
The scene today is a very odd one. For today, there are air fresheners covering the set. They are pasted all over the walls and the floor and they are hanging from every possible thing in sight. There are even some stuffed into the cushions on the chairs and the couch is covered in plastic. The usual sign in the back says 'Kikyo go back to hell!'  
  
The camera closes in off stage, waiting for someone to come out. No one comes and a different girl shows up on stage. She's dressed in all black with medium length hair and (cough) red highlights. (A/N: If you've read 'Crazy Inuyasha Truth Or Dare', you might know who she is already.)  
  
"Hello! I'm Steph! You remember me right? Right? RIGHT?!" She shouts to apparently no one.  
  
"Who are you shouting at?" Kelsey asks from her seat beside the camera.  
  
"Yeah, it's creepy," Bowsergal adds, she is manning the camera for now, while Cole is standing beside her waiting for his turn with his arms crossed.  
  
"Grrr, no one!!!" Steph says. "Anyway, I am now the director of this show." She grins widely.  
  
"Hey! How did you get that job?!" it was Kelsey who asked this.  
  
"I have connections," she replies mysteriously. "Anyway, the hostesses will be in shortly."  
  
Jess stumbles onstage with an armload of more air fresheners. "Hi!"  
  
"What's with the air fresheners?" Bowsergal asks, stepping away from the camera.  
  
"Kikyo *cough*deadsmellynastydisgustingcorpsewoman*cough* is going to be on the show today."  
  
"Where's Katie?" Cole asks, taking over the camera job.  
  
"She's uh, I don't really know what she's doing," Jess replies, dumping the air fresheners onto the couch.  
  
"I'M HERE!!!" Katie shouts running onstage out of breath. "I had to get the crew to arrange the dead bodies around the doors."  
  
"The dead bodies?!" Steph says.  
  
"Yes, the audience had an 'accident' last episode," Jess mutters.  
  
"Why are you putting them around the doors?" Kelsey asks.  
  
"You'll see! Anyway, it's time for Kikyo!"  
  
Steph goes off stage and Kikyo makes her way onto the set. Katie and Jess are both holding their breath.  
  
"Hello Kikyo *cough*deadsmellynastydisgustingcorpsewoman*cough*," Jess greets her.  
  
"Hello," Kikyo says taking her seat on the plastic covered couch, ignoring the sign behind her.  
  
"How are things?" Katie asks.  
  
"Fine, can we get on with this?"  
  
"Sure, sure," Katie grins widely.  
  
o.O;; "Okay, you're freaking me out. But anyway, the first questions are from Azn-anime, they ask: 'Do you have any friends? Are you on crack? Did you die on your PMS day, so you're always a *cough* bitch now?'"  
  
Kikyo's face grows grim as she hears snickers from over in the camera area. "For one, I do have friends."  
  
"Who? Naraku?"  
  
"No, the demons that take the souls of the dead for me are my friends."  
  
"What wonderful friends," Katie says sarcastically.  
  
"Second of all, I am not on this 'crack', whatever that may be . . ."  
  
"Riiiight, go on . . ." Jess comments.  
  
"And third, I have no clue what you are talking about because I am not a bitch."  
  
"Hahaha, you're kidding me right?" Steph asks from offstage.  
  
"No, now be quiet before you are dead," Kikyo snaps at her.  
  
"Shut up! I should go up there and kick your butt, you ugly dead-" Some security guards come out of no where and pull Steph backstage.  
  
"We have security guards?" Jess asks.  
  
"I guess so. Now! Next question! Do you ever take a bath or change your clothing everyday, 'cause you smell like disgusting crap?"  
  
A look of astonishment crosses Kikyo's face, before she answers. "Well, my clothes do get washed once a week, but what is this bath thing?" (A/N: Remember on the first episodes Kagome had said they didn't even know what a bath was?)  
  
"No wonder you smell so bad. A bath is a thing where you wash your body."  
  
"Seriously," Jess adds, "It's disgusting. You should work on your cleanliness."  
  
More snickering is heard from the direction of the camera, and Kikyo seems to be getting furious.  
  
"OK, anyway, why do you take other people's souls? Can't you just go back to hell where you belong?"  
  
Kikyo rises from her seat and starts to make her way offstage. "I have had enough of this!"  
  
"But you have to answer! And you can't go off of the stage or he'll get you," Katie yells.  
  
"Who will?" Kikyo asks, stopping in her tracks.  
  
"HE WILL!!!" Katie points to an exit where apparently no one is there.  
  
"Who? No one's there! You crazy child."  
  
"HEY!! She's not crazy! She's just insane like me!" Jess says.  
  
Steph somehow escaped the security guards and is now onstage with a bow and arrow aimed at Kikyo. She shoots it and it goes flying making Kikyo stumble back off of the set onto the floor. The arrow misses, though, and heads straight for Cole, who was switching spots with Bowsergal.  
  
"AHHHH!" Cole ducks just in time, sending the arrow flying into the wall, which makes it, snap in two.  
  
O.O' "What the heck?!" Jess shouts.  
  
"Darn! I missed!" Steph says, stomping her foot.  
  
Kikyo is sitting on the floor staring around blankly, apparently confused about what had just happened.  
  
Kelsey and Bowsergal are laughing because Cole had screamed and Cole is once again crossing his arms looking rather angry.  
  
"HE'S HERE!!!" Katie screams hiding under one of the chairs.  
  
"Who's here? You're confusing me." Jess scratches her head and looks around.  
  
Suddenly Steph shrieks and joins Katie under the chair. "What is that?!"  
  
"What's what?!" Jess's voice is almost to a yell now because no one is answering her.  
  
"IT'S HIM!" Katie squeals pointing off into the direction of the same exit.  
  
Jess looks over at the exit again and a horrified look comes to her face as she sees a strange form at the door. "Katie, who is that?"  
  
"That's Ghoul King," Katie says, from under the chair. "He's a zombie . . . he eats the DEAD!"  
  
Of course by now, Kelsey and Bowsergal had stopped laughing and were watching the commotion on the stage. Cole was sitting with his arms crossed, still in a huff because they had made fun of him.  
  
"Oh, I get it," Jess says. "The dead audience members were the bait for him to come here and eat Kikyo. I get ittttt!"  
  
Ghoul King has made his way down to the stage. His clothes are torn and messed up, as any zombie's would be. He makes his way toward Kikyo, who has finally gotten up off of the ground.  
  
"HEY!!! YOU CAN'T EAT HER YET!" Jess shouts.  
  
"Why can't he?!" Katie asks.  
  
"We still have questions we have to ask her!"  
  
"SECURITY!!!" Steph screams at the top of her lungs (she and Katie are still under the chair) making the big security guards appear like magic and without flinching restrain Ghoul King, for the time being.  
  
"Kikyo hurry up so we can let him get you," Katie groans.  
  
Jess clears her throat. "Only two more questions, and it'll all be over. Now, Kikyo, why won't you stop hunting our dear puppy, 'cause he didn't do a god damned thing to you?" (A/N: sorry for all the cussing in this chappy. Lol)  
  
"Yeah!" Steph cheers.  
  
"He did do something to me! He betrayed me! And now he's with that little wench of a reincarnation of mine that doesn't deserve him!"  
  
"And who does deserve him?" Katie mumbles.  
  
"I DO!" Steph says.  
  
"NO! I DO!" Kikyo argues.  
  
"SHUT UP YOU UGLY DEAD BI-"  
  
"ONE more question," Jess interrupts, "Why don't you go to a farm where all the pigs and other animals are and just take their souls? I mean, you would blend in with them just fine, except you may smell a little worse and then they would like run away from you. Man, you really should bathe."  
  
Kikyo rolls her eyes. "I do not smell at all. And I would never live on a farm. That's disgusting."  
  
"Not as disgusting as you," Steph objects.  
  
"That's it! You're dead!" Kikyo reaches under the chair for Steph, who jumps up and starts running.  
  
"You can't catch me! Nyah, nyah!" Kikyo goes running after her with murder in her eyes.  
  
"LOOK! A FLY!" Bowsergal exclaims, forgetting her camera duties and running after the fly to 'squoosh' it with her mallet that magically appears out of nowhere.  
  
Kelsey sweat drops and takes over the camera.  
  
"Hey! What are you doing?!" Cole asks her. "That's my job!"  
  
"But, I thought you were busy!"  
  
"You didn't ask again!!"  
  
"Ugh, why is this a big deal?!"  
  
"Because it's my job and not yours!"  
  
"SO?!"  
  
They once again go into an argument leaving the camera focused simply on the stage where Katie and Jess are staring at each other sweat dropping.  
  
"This is a mess," Jess says to her friend.  
  
"I know," Katie replies. "But hey! Look on the bright side! Security let'em go!"  
  
"YAY!" Jess says as Ghoul King starts running after Kikyo, who is running after Steph.  
  
When Kikyo sees he's after her she screams and forgets all about Steph, running towards the nearest exit she can find. Ghoul King follows after her the whole time, mumbling something about . . . dinner? o.O;;  
  
"Hahaha! I hope he eats her!" Steph laughs.  
  
"I do too!" Jess and Katie say at the same time, doing their little mind link thingy they have. (A/N: hmm, you know that really happens!)  
  
A chair comes hurtling past all their heads from the direction of the camera, making them finally notice Cole and Kelsey's shouts.  
  
"Whoa . . ."  
  
"Who threw that?!" Steph yells at them. She doesn't get a response, but more arguing comes from the two best friends. (A/N: You asked for this Cole. LOL)  
  
"Crazy," Jess says shaking her head.  
  
"Yay! I squooshed the pest!" Bowsergal says, running onstage with her mallet that has the dead fly guts on it.  
  
"Ewwwerz!"  
  
"Eh, that's all folks!" Jess says.  
  
"Haha! Porky Pigness!" Katie laughs.  
  
"Porky whatness?" o.O;;  
  
"Nothing! Next time it's gonna be Sango, just to get her out of the way! Bye!" Katie runs off the stage.  
  
"Umm, what she said!" Jess runs after her.  
  
Steph is the one that turns off the camera today. She looks into it and smiles. "ROCK ON!"  
  
***** ***** ***** *****  
  
A/N: o.O;; I have issues, we all have issues. Crazy stuff . . . sorry if this wasn't good enough but I wasn't in much of the mood for writing. *sniffs* Oh yeah, thanks for the reviews!  
  
Steph: Yeah my science teacher is EVIL! And crazy I think. He said he was going to give us a break from work because we had worked so hard, then he gave us a packet to do for homework over the WEEKEND!!! He's INSANE!! Even more insane than me!!!  
  
Jess: Hi bestest bestest bestest bestest bestest (you get the point) etc. weird crazy insane friend in the whole universe! Thankiez for all that stuff! You r0x0rs! And yeah I wanna come to the insane asylum!!!! Please? Lolz! Ai shiteru!  
  
Ja ne minna-san! 


	5. Chapter 5: Sango

A/N: Heyyo! Sorry for the late update! The hurricane on Thursday knocked out our power and we didn't get it back until Sunday. Sadly, I wasn't home yesterday so I couldn't update then either. Hurricanes rock though! 'Cause they got us out of school!!! Hahaha, I haven't been to school in 6 days! Anyway, thankies reviewers. Oh, Azn-anime, sure you can use me as a character. ^^ I'd be honored. (I think I caught my corny-ness from Jess . . . lol just kidding Jess!!!)  
  
Disclaimer: Wow, I'm actually getting tired of doing these for once. -.- I don't think I'm going to rule the world anymore *sniffs* Life is too dull, boring, and horrible to do that. Lol, well it's not THAT bad. What does this have to do with me not owning Inuyasha anyway? *looks around and hears crickets* Such a bad audience, XD just kidding.  
  
***** ***** ***** *****  
  
Chapter 5  
  
The camera, which is being controlled by Cole who has a black eye, zooms in on the set. All the air fresheners are gone, except for a few that wouldn't come off the wall because *cough* someone accidentally used permanent glue. The sign behind the usual couch and chairs says 'Sango' in normal dim pink letters and in much smaller letters is says 'cannot have Miroku!'  
  
Now Jess makes her way onto the stage with Steph beside her. Jess's entrance music for today is 'Dove' by Moony.  
  
((Authoress: *sniffs*cries* Dove!!! *cries*  
  
Weird Scary Voice from No Where (WSVFNW): "The authoress is having an emotional breakdown, we will continue in a few moments."  
  
Moment 1: ". . . . . . MOO . . . . . ."  
  
Moment 2: "Nani?"  
  
Moment 3: "Weirdos . . ." -.-;  
  
Moment 4 to WSVFNW: "Hey, how come you didn't say some moments?! Other moments want attention too ya know!"  
  
WSVFNW: *clears throat* "Now, the authoress is over it, and we will continue." *voice fades leaving M4 shouting*))  
  
o.O;; "Umm, oooookay," Jess says. "Anyway, since we are interviewing Sango today, and it would not be safe for Sango if Katie hosts, Steph will be our co-host for today!"  
  
"Yay!" Steph says taking the seat that is usually Katie's.  
  
From the direction of the vacant audience chairs, Katie shouts, "Hey! WHO SAID IT WASN'T SAFE?!"  
  
Everyone, including the camera, looks over to the chairs where they have tied Katie to one so she won't get free. Ghoul King is also sitting in a chair in the audience, since they've ran out of those wonderful magic chairs that just appear from no where.  
  
"I said it wasn't safe!" Jess shouts back to her friend.  
  
"WHY?! JUST CAUSE I'LL CHOKE HER TO DEATH IF I COULD GET TO HER?! THAT SEEMS PRETTY SAFE TO ME!!!"  
  
"MMMM, death . . ." Ghoul King licks his lips.  
  
Katie jumps just realizing he was there. "AHHHH!!! YOU HAVE ME TIED UP OVER HERE WITH HIM?! AND YOU WON'T LET ME KILL SANGO?! MAN, THIS IS SCREWED!"  
  
"Can you tell she doesn't like Sango much?" Jess sweat drops. "Oh yeah, we are very sad *cough*not*cough* to say that Kikyo *cough*deaddisgustingnastysmellycorpsewoman*cough* did get caught by Ghoul King and was eaten."  
  
"Yes!!! That's so great! Uh, I mean, poor Kikyo? Anyway, we would like to welcome-" Steph is interrupted by Bowsergal running onto the stage with her mallet in hand.  
  
"Where is she?! I'll kill her!"  
  
"Um, where's who?" Steph asks.  
  
"SANGO! DUH! WHERE IS SHE?!" Bowsergal asks, screaming at the top of her lungs.  
  
"Seems we have two people that are crazy over Miroku," Jess says, with a sigh.  
  
"Bowsergal, get over here!" Kelsey calls from the camera area. She has just arrived and completely ignores Cole, who is completely ignoring her.  
  
"FINE!!! But if I get my hands on her she'll be squooshed like that fly!" Bowsergal puts away her mallet and sits in her wonderful magic chair that had appeared from no where.  
  
"Hey, I thought it just said we were out of those," Jess says.  
  
"Oh well, now we welcome Sango!"  
  
Sango comes out from backstage, she is dressed in her pink and black fighting outfit or whatever that thing is and she has the Hiraikotsu slung over her shoulder.  
  
"Hello Sango!" Jess greets her.  
  
"Konnichi wa," Sango says taking a seat on the cough.  
  
"We're speaking English here," Steph says.  
  
"Oh, sorry, hello," Sango says. She sits the massive boomerang down on the floor beside her.  
  
"Now, for our questions . . ."  
  
"OH, OH, I HAVE ONE!" Bowsergal says from offstage.  
  
"Oh no," Jess mumbles, predicting what the question is going to be.  
  
"Ask it then," Steph says.  
  
"What do you think about you and Inuyasha pairings?" Bowsergal asks.  
  
"HER AND MY PUPPY?!" Steph yells. "NO!!! HE'S MINE!!! SHE CAN'T HAVE HIM!!!"  
  
"Well, Inuyasha is very handsome for a being that has demon in it, but he and Kagome go very well together. I would not like to interfere with that."  
  
"No! They don't go well together because he belongs with me!!!" Steph says, her temper rising as she glares angrily at Sango.  
  
"Uh, is that all Bowsergal?" Jess asks.  
  
"Oh, yes, for now it is." Bowsergal gets a very malicious look in her eye as she makes her way over to the camera to switch with Cole.  
  
"OK, now, next question from Azn-anime-"  
  
"Hey, I have a question!" Steph interrupts.  
  
"Ugh, can I finish with Azn-anime's questions first?!"  
  
"Fine."  
  
"Anyway, Azn-anime's first question for Sango is: 'Do you like Miroku as a friend or anything else?' and if so, 'Why?'"  
  
Sango looks around thinking over the question. "I like houshi-sama as a friend, yes, and soon I hope something more will come between us but for now we are merely friends."  
  
Steph rolls her eyes. "What about the why part of it?"  
  
"Oh, yes, I like him because he does have a sweet side under all his lechery."  
  
"OH MY GOODNESS!! SHUT UP!! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!" Katie screams from her seat.  
  
"ME EITHER!" Bowsergal screams as well.  
  
"SHHH!!!" Jess says. "The next questions from Azn-anime are: 'Would you bear Miroku's child?' and 'What do you think about his clothes? Do they look gay? Why?'"  
  
"MIROKU-SAMA'S CLOTHES DO NOT LOOK GAY!" Katie shouts.  
  
"Well, houshi-sama has to where the robes he wears because he is a houshi, at least that's what I think. And I do think they look rather, well, 'gay', since they are purple," Sango says, she completely ignored the 'bearing his child' question. "But those colors do look very good on him."  
  
"Now for my question!" Steph says. "Is it true that you said yes to Miroku when he asked you to bear his children in the temple of the oni women?"  
  
"Um . . ." Sango looks around nervously, a blush has formed across her face. "Well . . . yes . . ."  
  
"WHAT?!" Bowsergal and Katie yell at the same time.  
  
"But, you see . . ." Sango takes a deep breath. "I kind of had been a little delirious because I was rather ill then and I had been hit on the head rather badly in a battle. So I probably didn't know what I was thinking." (A/N: I made that all up. *grins*)  
  
"Excuses, excuses," Steph mumbles.  
  
"Oh yes, Ghoul King has a question," Jess says.  
  
"HEY!!! COULD YOU PEOPLE UNTIE ME NOW?!"  
  
"I WILL!" Cole says. He's finally come back to his senses, I guess.  
  
"NO COLE!!! DON'T!" Jess says.  
  
Cole stops in the process of trying to get the knot out of the rope. "Why shouldn't I?"  
  
"Please, please, please untie me," Katie says. "Please, I will be forever grateful to you."  
  
"That made no sense Kaitlin Margaret!" Jess says.  
  
"Yes it did, Jesse-"  
  
"SHHHH!!! Do not give my real name out to the WORLD!!!"  
  
-.-; "WELL THANKS FOR GIVING MINE!!!"  
  
"Ehehehe, gomen ne."  
  
"Excuse me, but did you two notice that you're getting way off track?" Kelsey asks, popping up between them. (A/N: MAGIC!!!)  
  
Cole unties the knot letting Katie run free off stage and grins. "HAHA!"  
  
.; "You do not know how much trouble you are letting happen mister!" Jess tells him making her way back onto the stage.  
  
"Hey, am I ever going to get to ask MY question or are you just going to forget about me?!" Ghoul King asks.  
  
"He can talk?" Steph asks. "I didn't know zombie's can talk . . ."  
  
"What is your question Ghoul King?" Jess asks him.  
  
"Is your boomerang really made out of bones Sango?"  
  
"Yes, all the bones of the demons I have killed."  
  
"MMMMM, demon bones!! GIMME!!!" He snatches her boomerang away from her and runs off gnawing on it.  
  
"HEY COME BACK HERE WITH THAT UNLESS YOU WISH TO DIE!!!"  
  
"Um, Sango, he's a zombie, he's probably already dead," Steph points out.  
  
"OH, WELL COME BACK HERE BEFORE I MAKE YOU EVEN DEADER!" Sango runs after him.  
  
"Is deader even a word?" Jess asks.  
  
"I think so," Kelsey replies coming onto the stage. "I just wanted to let you guys know that Bowsergal and Katie are both missing . . ." She looks over to Cole, who is still standing by the empty chair that Katie had been tied too and is laughing like a maniac. "And I think Cole's lost it."  
  
"AHHHHHHHH!" Sango runs back on stage. "YOU'RE CRAZY!"  
  
"Wha-" Jess and Steph look over to find Katie running after Sango with a gun, that looks just like Vash the Stampede's from Trigun's ^o^, and is shooting it at her.  
  
"HEY!! Before you kill her I wanna whack her with my mallet!" Bowsergal says running after them with her mallet in hand.  
  
A tall blonde man with spiky hair in a red trench coat comes on stage. "Hey!!! She stole my gun!"  
  
o.O;; "What's Vash doing here?" Steph asks.  
  
"Oh, hello there!" ^_^. Vash stops and waves at the camera.  
  
"You've got the wrong show Vash," Jess says.  
  
"MAN!!! Not again, that's the fifth time this week."  
  
"YAY!!!!" Bowsergal exclaims taking back her camera duties. "I SQUOOSHED SANGO!"  
  
"AND I SHOT HER!!!" Katie says very proud of herself. "Actually, I didn't, I kept missing. But I did manage to bang her head into the wall!"  
  
O.O.; "YOU KILLED THAT POOR GIRL?!" Vash asks.  
  
"No, we just hurt her a lot," Bowsergal says. "It was fun!"  
  
Ghoul King comes back onto the set, he has almost devoured the Hiraikotsu, except for the very end, which he is munching on happily.  
  
"Next show is gonna be the one, the only, the hott, wonderful, totally awesome MIROKU!!!" Katie states happily.  
  
"MY MAN!!! WOOHOO!!!" Bowsergal exclaims.  
  
"YOU'RE MAN?! NO WAY HE'S MINE!!!"  
  
"NUH-HUH!!! HE'S MINE!!!"  
  
"MINE!!!"  
  
"NO MINE!!!"  
  
*evil stare*  
  
*eviler(not a word) stare*  
  
*twitch*  
  
*blink*  
  
"AHAHA! YOU BLINKED!" Katie shouts running off stage with Bowsergal after her with her trusty mallet in hand.  
  
"Um . . ." Jess looks around.  
  
"That's about it for now!" Steph says.  
  
"Yeah, I'm out, ja!" Jess leaves, and so does Steph.  
  
Cole and Kelsey have disappeared and so has Ghoul King. Leaving Vash on the set alone. He looks around blankly until he remembers something. "Oh yeah!!! MY GUN!!!" he runs back stage, leaving the camera rolling.  
  
***** ***** ***** *****  
  
A/N: Uh, sorry, but Vash just seems to pop up everywhere. Lol, I wanted to use his gun so, oh well. Anyway, there's only like four more characters for this fic, then it's done!!! YAY! Let's see that's, Miroku (who's next), Sesshomaru, Kouga, and Naraku! Oh yeah, I forgot about Ghoul King's question of 'Do you like bread?' and I think I'm gonna wait and use that for uhhhh *thinks* Naraku!!! *has really stupid answer planned for it* ^^  
  
Steph: Wow, progress reports already? We get graphing calculators in my Algebra class so I don't have to really do any work in math! ^o^ LOL!!! You put fake spiders in the cheerleaders' locker room? COOL!!! *looks around* OK, now I'm babbling . . .  
  
shesshyluvsme200: I won't make Sesshomaru really evil, just 'cause of someone *cough*Jess*cough* really likes him. Thanks for the review!  
  
Oh yeah, I forgot to say I don't own Mr. Vash. Thanks for the reviews again! And review please! Ja ne!!! 


	6. Chapter 6: Miroku, the perverted monk

A/N: Oi . . . do you hate me now? *shivers from evil glares* Me so sorry, I haven't updated in forever! Well about two weeks isn't forever, but ya know what I mean. I've just been really, really lazy lately. (Yeah, that means I could have written, but I was just too lazy! ^^;) Well, please don't hate me. I will try my hardest to make this a good chapter at least. But hey!! I have a computer in my room now! Heh, well this retarded thing! HAHA! (sorry, inside joke.) Oh yeah, my tab button was acting weird and this program is being slow so I couldn't indent my paragraphs!!! Grrrr!! Gomen!  
  
Disclaimer: I'm not happy enough to rule the world today. So, I'll give it to someone else!!! Erm, who wants it?! LOL, oh yeah, I don't own Inuyasha!  
  
***** ***** ***** *****  
  
Chapter 6  
  
The scene today is a little different than usual. The couch and chairs have been decorated in dark blue fabric with purple stripes. The sign behind them is huge with a lighted up picture of Miroku's face and it says "Miroku is KATIE'S!" in really big flashy purple letters.  
  
Before any entrance music can be played, one of the hostesses that you all love so much (yes, you do love her, ADMIT IT!!!), Katie, is standing in front of the camera eagerly. She is about to burst with excitement.  
  
"Hi there!!!!!" she says giddily as our other hostess, that you all love so much as well, joins her.  
  
"Katie, you really should calm down. I mean, you're about to hyperventilate like that one time-"  
  
"Well we'll see how you feel next time when Sesshomaru's on here!!!"  
  
Suddenly, what looks like a girl, jumps out of nowhere . . . well if nowhere comes from a rafter on the ceiling. She lands right in front of the two hostesses staring at them; her long blonde hair hanging in front of her green eyes. She's a couple inches shorter than Jess. (A/N: Yeah, Jess is like 5'4" and erm, well then she's 5'2", gosh people do the math!!!)  
  
"Who are you?" Steph, who is sitting off-stage in her little chair that she made that says "I'M THE DIRECTOR, SO DEAL WITH IT!" on it, asks.  
  
"Did someone say Sesshomaru?" the girl asks, acting as if she didn't hear Steph at all.  
  
"Yes, and why would that would that matter to you?" Jess says.  
  
"Because . . ." she blushes. "He is mine."  
  
"WHAT?!!!!" Jess says. "I DON'T THINK SO!!!"  
  
"Erm, EXCUSE ME!!!" Katie shouts.  
  
"YES, LISTEN TO KATIE!!" Cole shouts as well from the camera.  
  
Everyone looks over at Katie, who is starting to steam at the ears. "COULD WE PLEASE GET MIROKU OUT HERE?!?!?!?!"  
  
"Wait, who ARE you?" Steph asks the girl again.  
  
"I'm Sandra, the fox demon."  
  
"OKAY! Well you need to go take a seat over there with Ghoul King, please," Steph says, acting all professional.  
  
"I don't take orders from humans," Sandra growls.  
  
"Well, it's either go sit down, or have the security guards take care of you," Steph replies. "And trust me, they can handle anything."  
  
"FINE!!!" Sandra stalks over to the chairs, where the audience would be but sadly they are still dead and the girls didn't feel like making up a new one, and takes a seat.  
  
"Hey, wait a second!" Bowsergal runs over to the camera area. "I had to get my mallet." She pauses and reads the sign. "HE IS MINE, NOT YOURS KATIE!!!"  
  
"No, he's Katie's. Learn to read," Cole says.  
  
"That was very MEAN!!!" Bowsergal shouts at him. "AND I CAN READ!"  
  
"Sure you can, now why don't you just take a seat?" Cole says ushering Bowsergal to a chair. As she sits, chains come from nowhere and those hand- cuff/shackle type things go around her arms and legs, pinning her to the chair.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!" she screams struggling with the chains.  
  
Cole grins evilly. "I dunno, wonder how those got there."  
  
"LET ME GO NOW!!!"  
  
"Sorry, I lost the key." His evil grin widens.  
  
"Oh when I get loose you're going to be so squooshed, it's not even funny!"  
  
o_O;; "Uhh, your little friend over there is scaring me Katie," Jess mumbles, nudging Katie with her elbow.  
  
"Haha, Cole's so great." XD  
  
"OI!!!" Ghoul King shouts from his seat.  
  
"What Mr. Ghoul King?" Katie asks.  
  
"Mister?" o_O;;; "MUAHAHAHA, FEEL MY IMPORTANTNESS!!!"  
  
"Uh . . ." Jess sweat drops. "I think I've really gone insane."  
  
"Bring out the hentai already!" Sandra says.  
  
"We introduce to all you spiders, hanyous, demons, zombies, and whatever else kind of things there are out there, MIROKU!!!! THE PERVERTED MONK!!!"  
  
"YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Katie squeals, jumping up and down.  
  
Miroku strolls onto the set with his staff in his right hand leaning against his shoulder. His face brightens as he sees that there are five BEAUTIFUL young girls around.  
  
(A/N: hold on a moment . . .  
  
Moment 1: "MOO!"  
  
. . . aww shut up M1, let's see 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . . wait, shouldn't there be 6 girls? o_O;;)  
  
"Hello!" Miroku says, a lecherous smile comes across his face.  
  
"MIRO-SAMA!!!" Katie squeals tackling him. "I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"  
  
"I LOVE YOU MOREEEEEEE!!!" Bowsergal shouts, from her unfortunate imprisonment.  
  
"No you don't!" Cole says.  
  
"Yes I do!"  
  
"No you don't!"  
  
"YES I DO!!!"  
  
"NO YOU DON'T!!!"  
  
"YES!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"YES!"  
  
"YES!"  
  
"NO!!!"  
  
"Haha, told you," Cole says triumphantly.  
  
T.T; "Evil boy," Bowsergal mutters under her breath.  
  
^_____^ "I'm so loved," Miroku says as he takes a seat on the couch.  
  
"Oh, oh, can I sit by you houshi-sama?" Katie says, though she's already taken the seat.  
  
o_o;; "Katie's lost it, yeah, she has . . ." Jess says to no one in particular.  
  
"Could we get on with the questions?" Ghoul King asks.  
  
"Yes, your majesty, King, sir, zombie thing," Katie says. (A/N: Bwhaha, don't I feel like an idiot XD)  
  
"MUAHAHAHA!!!"  
  
"OK, now what should we ask first . . ." Jess thumbs through some cards.  
  
"Oh, I have a question!" Steph says, loosing her professional manner. "Are you still gay Miroku? If so, have you found your life partner yet? Because there are a lot of gay people out there ya know?"  
  
"No, I am not gay! And I was never gay!!!" Miroku says.  
  
"You don't have to be so mean!!!" Steph says, taking her seat again.  
  
"I have questions!" Sandra adds. Miroku's face brightens some more as he sees the very pretty young girl.  
  
"Fine, ask them," Jess says.  
  
"After you get rid of the vortex thing in your hand, will you still ask any pretty woman to bear your child? Or will you stop?" Sandra asks. (A/N: I kinda mixed in Jess's question with that. Heheheh.)  
  
"Well, I suppose I would stop, but I would still want a family one day"  
  
"AWWW!!! That's so kawaii coming from a hentai," Jess says.  
  
"I'll marry you!" Katie says attaching herself to his arm.  
  
"You're kind of young for him Katie," Jess says struggling to pull her friend off of him.  
  
"I'm only six years younger!!! Only six!!!" (A/N: yeah, well, I read on a site that he was nineteen or something.)  
  
"Errr, well please continue Sandra."  
  
"Why do you keep touching Sango's bottom?" Sandra asks him bluntly.  
  
Miroku's face turns bright red. "Uhhh, well, *cough* she has a *cough* very nice *cough* one *cough*."  
  
o_O; "What was that Miroku-sama?" Katie asks.  
  
"Errrrrrr, nothing!!!"  
  
"EwWwWw!!!" Sandra says. "Nasty hentai! My next question is: exactly how many women have agreed to bare your child? If so, why?"  
  
T.T; "None have agreed. They always smack me and tell me to get lost."  
  
"My poor Miro-san."  
  
"MINE!!!" Bowsergal shouts.  
  
"NO!!!! HE'S MINE!!!"  
  
"MINE!!!!"  
  
"MINE!!!"  
  
"SHUT UP! HE'S MINE!!!"  
  
"YOU SHUT UP! AND HE'S NOT YOURS!!!"  
  
"You can both shut up!" Ghoul King says.  
  
Both of the girls go quiet and all order is restored for now.  
  
"One more question from me. If an extremely weird gay guy came up to you and asked you to bare his child what would you do?"  
  
"Men can't have children," Miroku says.  
  
"BUT STILL, what would you do?"  
  
"I'd tell him simply that he has found the wrong gender and he needs to go find himself a nice young lady to bare his child."  
  
"BUT HE'S GAY!!! That means he likes men!!! Why would he go find a woman?"  
  
"Well if he wants to have a child then he would!" Miroku says.  
  
-_-;; "DARN IT!! Stupid human!" Sandra sits down in her seat with her arms crossed.  
  
"OOOKAY! Now, for my questions that I have made-" Jess says.  
  
"Can I bare your child Miroku?" Katie asks.  
  
Jess falls over anime style. "KAITLIN MARGARET!!! THAT IS JUST WRONG!!!"  
  
"What? He's sooooooo cute!" 8D~  
  
"Eh, there is no getting through to this girl right now." Jess sits back up in her chair. "Now, who do you like best so far, Sango, Katie, or Bowsergal over there? And if you can't answer, what do you like about all three of them? Oh yeah, and Cole could you please let Bowsergal go!! NOW!!!"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!" He clutches to the key for dear life and runs off somewhere.  
  
"I'll get it!" Steph runs after him.  
  
"Well, are you going to answer anytime soon?"  
  
"Oh, yeah, right. Uh, I like them all!" Miroku replies.  
  
"BUT, who do you like best?"  
  
"That's not a very nice question. Plus, I can't choose."  
  
"Fine, be that way. Are you suffering from brain damage because you keep getting hit in the head? And is that why you keep asking women to bare your child over and over again because of too much banging from the Hiraikotsu and other hard objects?"  
  
"Actually," Miroku pauses. "I think my head is just fine."  
  
"Really? Can I hit you in it?"  
  
"NO!!!" Katie and Bowsergal practically say at the same time.  
  
"Eh, *cough*crazy*cough*, what is up with your ponytail thing?" Jess continues, flipping through her index cards, which have 'I love Miroku' scribbled all over the back of them.  
  
"Well, I got this really bad haircut once. But then I kind of just got used to the look and it suits me well, don't you think?"  
  
"It certainly does," Katie says. "But why aren't you bald like all the other monks? Even though I probably wouldn't like you if you were bald . . ."  
  
"Exactly! I look better with hair, so I didn't shave my head!" Miroku responds.  
  
"Uhhh, oooooookay! Why don't you wear tight fitting clothes? Well not like TIGHT clothes, but tight enough to make girls fall, like her?" Jess points to Katie. "Wait, she already is falling . . ."  
  
"I never really thought about that. I mean, don't all monks wear robes?"  
  
"Oh I see, well are you sure you're a monk? I mean, monks don't grope girls and if they did they were probably banished."  
  
"I'm a monk!!!"  
  
"Yeah, and that's why you steal stuff too," Sandra says sarcastically. (A/N: Haha, I'm not forgetting about the other characters! =P)  
  
"I don't steal, I just take what they owe me, then pawn it off at markets."  
  
"When would a monk ever say pawn? And plus you lie to people too," Jess adds.  
  
"Oi! Leave Miro-san alone! He is a very honorable houshi!" Katie says.  
  
"Why do I even bother to come here?" Ghoul King yawns.  
  
"OH NO!!! I'M SO SORRY MR. GHOUL KING, SIR!!!" Katie says, letting go of Miroku. "Please ask him your questions!"  
  
o_O;; "Er, would you stop with the sir crap?"  
  
"Okiez, your majesty."  
  
"Yeah, stop that too."  
  
"Fine, Mr. King."  
  
"STOP IT!!!"  
  
"OK G.K.!!!" ^^;  
  
"That's better! Now, Miroku, where does everything sucked into the hole in your hand go?"  
  
"KAZAANA!" XD  
  
"Shut up, Katie," he says.  
  
"YOUUUU!!!"  
  
"Don't tell me to shut up! I can eat you!!!"  
  
o_O;;; "So sorry, sir!"  
  
"STOP!!!"  
  
"OKAY, OKAY!!!"  
  
"Everything gets sucked into another dimension! A parallel universe! MUAHAHAHA!" (A/N: erm, I don't think it's parrallel, but okay lol)  
  
"I see, and what is your lovely staff there made of?"  
  
"Very fine gold. This staff has been handed down from generation to generation in my family."  
  
"Are you sure it's not made of bones by any chance?"  
  
"Uh, pretty sure."  
  
"Could I check?"  
  
o_o;; "OK . . ."  
  
Ghoul King goes on stage and takes Miroku's staff. Everyone, but Miroku of course, knows what he's about to do as he takes a big bite out of the circle part at the top.  
  
"MMMM, no, I think this is bone!"  
  
"What the hell?! That is a important item there!!! Don't do that!!!" Miroku yells getting up. He trys to snatch the staff away but Ghoul King is already chewing up the top of it.  
  
T_T; "My precious staff."  
  
"Oh boy, I have a headache now," Jess says leaning back in her chair.  
  
"HAHAHA! I GOT THE KEY! I GOT THE KEY!!!" Steph yells running onto the stage with Cole running after her.  
  
"GIVE THAT BACKKK!!!"  
  
"NOOOOOOO!" Steph runs to Bowsergal and frees her from the chains. =P  
  
"YOU ARE SO DEAD!!!" Bowsergal screams as she starts after Cole.  
  
"Yeah, but Katie gets to kiss Miroku!" Cole grins as he runs over to Katie and shoves Miroku into her.  
  
Miroku blushes and looks down at her. "Eh, hello there!"  
  
"Oh my-" Katie's jaw drops and she faints right on the spot. (A/N: No I'm not trying to make this some fluff story LOL, I just love him, I can't help it!)  
  
"Dammit, you were supposed to kiss her," Cole says. "How come all my plans seem to go wrong on here?"  
  
"I dunno," Jess replies. "Katie's the one writing this."  
  
"Then why does she keep making these stupid things happen to meeeee?!"  
  
"Cuz, she, er, is insane?" Jess shrugs. "Or either, she's just really tired."  
  
"Tasty!" Ghoul King exclaims, finishing the staff and burping.  
  
"Excuse you!" Sandra says.  
  
"Wait a sec, where's Kelsey been today? And where'd Bowsergal go?" Steph asks.  
  
"Uh, Kelsey . . . uh . . ." Cole pauses, laughing nervously. "She, uh, wasn't feeling well."  
  
"I smell a dead person," Ghoul King says.  
  
"I smell a liar," Sandra adds.  
  
"I smell some bones, why don't you go find them?" Cole says.  
  
"I would smell bones, trust me," Ghoul King says. "Now, either it's you that is soon going to be attacked by Bowsergal that's the dead person, or it's another dead person. Aww, such a delicious scent."  
  
At that moment Bowsergal comes running after Cole with her mallet. "TIME TO PAY!!!"  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Cole runs off as fast as he possibly can.  
  
"Oh yeah!!!" Bowsergal runs over to Miroku and hugs him till her turns purple. "I killed all the praying mantises in existence just for you!"  
  
"You mean you killed a whole species of insects?"  
  
"Yes! I saw what that one did to you and I just had to kill them all!" ^^ "Well I have a boy to hurt BADLY, bye!!!" She runs off tapping her mallet in her hand.  
  
"But . . . that mantis was a demon . . ." Miroku looks at Jess confused.  
  
"Hey, well that's all for now! My Sesshie is going to be interviewed next chappy!" Jess says.  
  
"Erm, wait!!! What are we gonna do with her?" Steph asks pointing at Katie, who is still passed out on the floor. (A/N: Mean Miroku, didn't catch me *sniffs*)  
  
"Can I take her home with me?" Miroku asks.  
  
"WHAT?!!!! NO YOU LETCH!!!"  
  
o_O;; "I don't even want to know . . ." Sandra says. "Well I'm off to go kill people. See ya!"  
  
"Eh, I'll take her and eat her if you want," Ghoul King offers.  
  
"I thought you only eat the dead?"  
  
"Sometimes I need a snack," he says.  
  
"Well, you can't eat her!!! Kyah, well, that's all folks!!!" Jess says.  
  
Katie suddenly wakes up laughing. "HAHA, you did the Porky Pigness thingy again! HAHAHAHA!!!"  
  
"What the hell is Porky Pigness?" o_O;;  
  
"I . . . don't . . . know . . ." XD  
  
"Miro!!!" Katie jumps on Miroku's back. "I wanna piggy-back ride! Giddy- up!"  
  
^____^ "YEEE-HAW!!!" Miroku carries her offstage somewhere, we don't really care where. (A/N: come on people, I'm only kidding!)  
  
"Well I have to go save my crazy friend, ja ne!" Jess runs after them.  
  
"I'll help!" Steph says following her, leaving Ghoul King by himself.  
  
"How very kind of you all to just leave me!!!"  
  
-Silence-  
  
"Living people, I swear . . ." Ghoul King mutters leaving and not bothering to cut off the camera.  
  
***** ***** ***** *****  
  
A/N: Uh, that was . . . WEIRD. XD I'll try to update sooner this time. LOL, gomen again for updating so late.  
  
Steph: That's too bad that you didn't really put the spiders in there. That probably would have been really funny! ^o^;; Oh, and I'm gonna do all those characters in separate chapters . . . well . . . I think . . . I'm not really sure right now!  
  
sesshyluvsme200: Yeah, I think I will do interviews on those two too! Thanks!  
  
Heh, well I leave you with these moments . . .  
  
Moment 1: ". . . MOO . . ."  
  
Moment 2: "Dammit, M1, don't you say anything besides 'MOO'?"  
  
Moment 1: "-BLEEP- YOU! YOU -BLEEP-ing piece of -BLEEP-!"  
  
Moment 2: o_O;;; "Holy -BLEEP-!"  
  
Moment 1: -_-; ". . . MOO . . ."  
  
Hahaha, Ja ne!!! And please review! If you do I will love you foreveRRRR!!! XD 


	7. Chapter 7: Sesshomaru

A/N: x_o; Hello . . . *flinch* I'm soooooooooooooooooooo sorry, I haven't updated in about two months. ;~~~; If you guys still read this I will really love you . . . you'll be my best friends? *cough* Anyway, if I can get back on track, this interview is supposed to be Sesshomaru's interview. Jess, Sandra, and sesshyluvsme200, sorry for updating so late, 'cause I know this is you guys' favorite character. Actually Jess told me to take a break so I could get my mind straight. (I think that was because my best friend moved, but I guess I got over that a little while ago. =\) A while ago, I read Steph's new chappy (You should really read her story 'Handelin' High School', it rocks!) and I just thought 'Golly Gee Wilikers, I should go update my story.' XD Hehe, inside joke!  
  
The D aka Dani: (If you read this.) n_n; I'll add you in my Naraku chapter, which I hope is next chapter. Right now, I don't even remember who all my characters are @.@;(J/K!) Hehe, I have a friend named Dani too!  
  
Ghoul King: O_O!!! Yes, I can be scary. MUAHAHAHA! o_O; actually I had no clue . . . LOL, I hope you still read this! Thank you for loving my story and the encouragement (?), it makes me feel all warm inside. XDDD  
  
Cole and Kelsey: You guys . . . I'm sorry, but I have totally lost track of everything you've wanted to do to each other. The killing and stuff, WHOA! o_O; How 'bout you two just like blow each other up? LOL, just kiddin', I'll think of something, might not be what ya want though.  
  
Disclaimer: KnivesRulesYOU! MUAHAHAHA! I had that screen name! XDDD Knives kicks arse! Fo' shizzle! *cough* Wait, what is this for again? Oh, OOOOOOOH, right! I don't own Inuyasha, or anything, or anyone. ;~;  
  
***** ***** ***** ******  
  
Chapter 7  
  
Today, there is a larger couch on the set beside the two usual chairs. Jess has created a sign in the back, which states: "Ai shiteru, Sesshie-sama." It's rather large and in bright red letters. Jess is seated on the left end of the sofa with her biggest, brightest smile in place.  
  
"Hello there," she waves to the camera, which is being manned by some new guy. "Oh yeah, this is Gina. He's the cameraman today because Bowsergal got a hold of Cole and it wasn't very pretty, so he's in the hospital. Then he told the police and unfortunately they took her in." (A/N: Yes, Gina is a guy _O;)  
  
"She's getting out today," Steph adds. "So is he."  
  
"Yep! And now, HERE'S SE-"  
  
"You forgot Katie," Steph interrupts. "And Ghoul King isn't here, or Sandra . . ."  
  
"Or Kelsey," Jess frowns. "WHERE ARE ALL YOU PEOPLE?!"  
  
"I'm here!" Katie pops up randomly from behind the sofa. She gasps, "GINA!!!!!"  
  
"Hey hon!" Gina replies from behind the camera. (A/N: he actually says that! XD)  
  
"Katie, where's Ghoul King?" Jess implies.  
  
"Oh, sire, where art thou'?"  
  
X_O; "Sire?" Ghoul King asks. He has magically appeared in one of the seats on stage.  
  
n_n; "MY CO-HOST!" Katie says, hugging him on impulse.  
  
He twitches. "DO NOT TOUCH ME!!!"  
  
"Gomen ne, sir."  
  
"OUR co-host," Jess corrects. "I'm still here ya' know."  
  
"Well, you won't be able to focus as soon as Lord Sesshomaru comes out," Katie taunts.  
  
"Psh . . ."  
  
"Let's bring out Fluffy already," Steph says.  
  
"Introducing, the one and only-" Jess begins.  
  
"Lord Sesshomaru-sama!" Katie finishes.  
  
Sesshomaru glides onto the set. His emotionless face has a small look of disgust as he sits down on the right side of the couch, away from Jess.  
  
"SESSHIE!!!!" Jess squeals, clinging to him.  
  
Now, Sandra has dropped from the rafters. The kitsune's green eyes are filled with hostility as she observes the scene. "Unhand Sesshomaru, human!" she orders.  
  
"No!!!" Jess replies.  
  
Sandra grabs Sesshomaru's arm and tried to pull him away from Jess. The two start that old tug-of-war thing.  
  
A low growl is heard from Sesshomaru's throat before he flashes his claws, sending both girls jetting back into the couch. They both look up at him quietly, Jess from the left, Sandra from the right.  
  
"I am not here to be contaminated by female things." He twitches. "I was told I would find out how to get the Tetsusaiga from my stupid half- demon brother."  
  
Steph whistles innocently from her chair.  
  
"You told him that?!" Katie asked.  
  
"Well it's the only way he'd come!" Steph explained.  
  
Katie sighs, "OK, Lord Sesshomaru-sama, we will give you that information after you answer some questions for us."  
  
"But we don't-" Steph starts to say.  
  
"Shush. Now, questions for Sesshomaru . . ." Katie flips out a card and reads it. "Erm, you can ask him the first question." She hands the card to Ghoul King.  
  
He reads it and a revolted expression crosses his face. "I am not asking anyone this question, it's repulsing." He crumples up the card and tosses it back at Katie.  
  
_O;; "HEY!!" She picks it up and straightens it out, then scurries over to Gina at the camera. "Gina-kun, could you ask Lord Sesshomaru-sama this question?"  
  
"Uh okay," Gina takes the card and reads it. "Questions from sesshyluvsme200: Why are you so damn fine? Why the heck do you have to be in another dimension and time? Why?" He clears his throat and hands the card back to Katie.  
  
"Thank you! You're so kind, Gina-kun." She runs back over to the stage and takes her seat, sticking her tongue out at Ghoul King. =P  
  
"WANT ME TO EAT YOU?!"  
  
o_o; "No, sir. Answer the question, Lord Sesshomaru-sama."  
  
"What does 'so damn fine' mean? And I have no clue or desire to know the reasons why."  
  
"So damn fine means that you are very, very, very times infinity kawaii," Jess tells him.  
  
Sandra nods, "It's true."  
  
"Anyway, I have questions!" Katie declares. "Sesshomaru, why must you harm Inuyasha?"  
  
"Because he is an unworthy half-breed who deserves to die and he took father's sword, which should belong to me!" Sesshomaru responds.  
  
"If he's so unworthy, why do you waste your time trying to kill him?" Steph asks, as she drags a chair onto the stage.  
  
"What are you doing?" Katie implies.  
  
"I'm joining you, you can't ask all the questions. Fluffy, answer for Kami-sama's sake."  
  
"I must kill him because he is my brother and I want the Tetsusaiga!"  
  
"So, in Fluffy language that means: 'I really don't have a life'," Steph says.  
  
"Confine your words, human," he orders.  
  
^_^ "And that means 'Shut up' in Fluffy language!"  
  
"I have questions for Sesshie!" Jess raises her hand gleefully.  
  
_ "OK, ask them, Jess."  
  
"WHY ARE YOU SO FRIGGEN FINE?!" Jess asks at the top of her lungs.  
  
"Didn't we just have that question?" Ghoul King asks. u_u;  
  
"Oh, heh, are your stripes natural or do you put them on like makeup?" Jess asks instead.  
  
"My stripes *twitch* are natural *twitch*," Sesshomaru replies through gritted teeth.  
  
"FLUFFY'S GETTIN' MAD EVERYONE!" Steph shouts.  
  
"Confine your words!"  
  
"Do you wear any other clothing, Sesshie?" Jess continues.  
  
"No . . ."  
  
"Do you wash them?"  
  
"No . . ."  
  
O_O;; "Ewww, Sesshomaru smells worse than zombie dude over here," Katie says.  
  
_ "Shut up!" Ghoul King barks. (A/N: WTH, barks?!)  
  
"Smelly . . ."  
  
"I'M A ZOMBIE! I'M DEAD! DO YOU THINK I SMELL LIKE ROSES?!?!?!"  
  
"Uhhh . . ."  
  
Kurama (from YYH!) pops out from no where. "Did you say roses?" (A/N: he may be out of character, but what the hey! This is a humor fic!)  
  
"Yes I did!" G.K. responds.  
  
"I've misplaced mine, have you seen it anywhere?" Kurama asks.  
  
"Uh, no, sorry," Katie says.  
  
"KURAMA! GET BACK ON OUR SET!" Yusuke yells from a little door in the floor, which Kurama jumps into and disappears.  
  
o-o; "OH-KAY, moving on . . ."  
  
"Sesshie, Sesshie, can I touch your tail?!" Jess begs.  
  
"No!!!!" Sandra exclaims. "I wanna touch it . . . wait, that's his tail?"  
  
"YES!!! HAHA!!! I know more about Sesshie than you do!" Jess accuses.  
  
"YOU DO NOT!" Sandra argues. "I LOVE HIM WAY MORE!"  
  
"NO I DO!!!"  
  
"THEN PROVE IT!" Sandra orders.  
  
"OK I WILL!"  
  
"How exactly are you going to do that?" Steph asks.  
  
"LIKE THIS!" Jess unexpectedly leans into Sesshomaru, grabbing his head, and kissing him full on the lips. (A/N: Fluff *gags* My apologizes!)  
  
O_O!!!! Everyone but Jess has a shocked expression, even the mighty Ghoul King. (Mighty?)  
  
"Oh me, oh my," Mutsumi giggles.  
  
"Mutsumi?! Where'd you come from?!" Katie asks. (A/N: If you don't know who she is, she's from this anime called 'Love Hina', it r0x0rz!)  
  
"Oh my, oh my, I forgot," Mutsumi says. (A/N: she's an airhead . . . -_-;)  
  
Keitaro Urashima, also from 'Love Hina', runs onto the set and drags her off. "Sorry about that!!!"  
  
"Katie, stop making these random anime characters appear! These are Inuyasha Interviews!" Steph says.  
  
"Gosh, just trying to have a little fun!"  
  
Anyway, back to the Sesshomaru scene! He is, well, let's just say his normal emotionless face isn't so emotionless anymore. ;D He's actually . . . smiling!  
  
O_O; "That's the most bizarre thing I've ever seen in my life! Er, well, you know," Ghoul King says.  
  
"Ooooh, Jessie has a man!" Gina comments from the camera.  
  
Jess blushes. "GINA!!!"  
  
"Hn. It's not fair, why does she get to kiss him?!" Sandra growls.  
  
"Because I'm special!"  
  
"No you're not! I'm better looking and I'm full youkai! This is messed up!"  
  
~; "Are you calling me ugly?!" Jess sniffs.  
  
"No she's not. You're prettyfulness!!!!" Katie says. "Anyway, I have a question for Sesshie! Are you gay?"  
  
"He just got kissed by a girl and you ask him if he's gay," Ghoul King mutters sarcastically. "What are you a baka?"  
  
"Hai, Katie no baka!" Katie agrees, smiling brightly.  
  
"Have you noticed that you guys pretty much answer all the questions for him?" Steph asks.  
  
"We do?" Katie asks.  
  
"Yeah, you do."  
  
"OH, I'M SORRY!"  
  
" 'Course you are," G.K. says. "I also have a question, what's your armor made of?"  
  
"Oh no," Steph groans, leaning back into her chair.  
  
"It looks like it's made of rock," Katie blurts out.  
  
"YOU DID IT AGAIN!" Steph says.  
  
"I DIDN'T MEAN TO!"  
  
u_u; "SURE!"  
  
"Well the ningen is wrong; it's made of metal," Sesshomaru replies.  
  
"Reeeeealllly?" Ghoul King grins.  
  
"Here we go . . ." Steph sighs.  
  
"Can I borrow it, Sesshomaru?" G.K. asks.  
  
"No."  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No."  
  
"PLEASE?!?!"  
  
"NO!!!"  
  
"Can I taste it?"  
  
"NOOOOO!!!!"  
  
Ghoul King lunges at him, attempting to rip the armor from him. He does this to no avail, and Sesshomaru stands angrily.  
  
"How dare you attack me!"  
  
"Give me the darned armor!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"YES!" G.K. lunges for it again, but Sesshomaru is too swift for him. (A/N: Nyar nyar!)  
  
_ "I have minions you know." Ghoul King glares at him.  
  
"So do I." Sesshomaru glares back and they go into a staring contest.  
  
"Forget it," Steph sighs, trudging off the stage. "This place is a wreck!"  
  
"I agree with you," Sandra says, following her. "She let that HUMAN kiss Lord Sesshomaru."  
  
The two girls wander off while Jess is still sitting in disbelief with herself on the couch and Katie is watching the staring contest, unamused. Finally, Katie stands up and faces the camera.  
  
"Well I guess that's all! Cole, Kelsey, and Bowsergal will be back next chapter, hopefully! Heh, I'm going back down to that Yu Yu Hakusho set to find Hiei! Ja ne!"  
  
She disappears, leaving the youkai and zombie with their staring contest and Jess.  
  
"Er, haha, well," Gina scratches his head. He's appeared in front of the camera and is reading some lines off of a note pad. "Next time Kouga will be interviewed and don't forget to review! Bye!" He grabs Jess, who seems to be completely out of it, off of the couch and pulls her backstage.  
  
***** ***** ***** *****  
  
A/N: I'm a failure, ne? Gomen nasai, minna-san. ;~; Well please review! If you do review, you are the kindest person ever. Except if you flame, of course. But you can flame me if you want, I don't care. ^_^; It's cold outside. LOL, haha, I'm off to find Hiei! Ciao! Ja!  
  
~ Katie  
  
Oh yeah . . . don't forget . . . REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


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